The Cupcake guide to Creepers

Whether its a convention, club or event, if its the in the name of fandom who couldn’t think of a better place to spend time with the only people who could understand you in your own little world

Unfortunately though, in much the same way a tourist attempts to leave their 3 year old with the space mountain attendant, we too seem to put the sense we would use in the outside world aside because we thought we were safe.


I was talking to my friend M. about it the other day. She’s one of the cool kids of cosplay and I’ve recently discovered that comes equipped with quite a bit of crazy. See M. puts out some kick ass content on her facebook and through her comments I got to know a few of her more um..special followers

 

One of them I’m going to call Anal. Anal added me on facebook and when he was told about the other man in my picture immediately began attempting to convince me that I was not in a relationship when I was. After thanking him for his time and informing him that I did not share his views Anal got pretty butt hurt. It was also important for me to know that because I didn’t listen to him I was basically a hopeless case with a one way ticket to hell.

A few days later in the middle of the night he sends me a pm which I did not answer due to the fact that like most people I am sleeping at night, well this did not go over too well for Mr. Anal and began ranting on his timeline about how stupid c***s don’t talk to him and he was going to start cutting again. Fun Fact: I am not cool with this, that bitch is blocked.

 

Because this happened recently I was able to cut him off from almost the beginning, however the old me that did not have the experience with creepers that new me does, would have done things differently because like many geek girls/guys believe, since its apart of our fandom, it’s safe.


Just a friendly reminder….it’s not.  Another Cosplay friend made a post on her facebook describing a situation she had gone through which completely and utterly describes the process I think we all go through in these sorts of situations (the texts are a completely different situation with different people to prove a point)

 

2015-02-15 18.46.05

 

2015-02-15 22.40.12 (1)

 

The problem with this is when you’re dealing with a creeper, they don’t see this as rejection. They see this as: you better do something before you’re in the friendzone, not understanding that they are already there by this point. Which leads to more uncomfortable encounters like telling you to spread your legs during an exercise and openly stare at your crotch with a smile… Don’t like the friend zone? Don’t hang around the person who put you there.  It’s that simple.

 

2015-02-15 18.47.55

 

2015-02-15 18.49.11

 

 

2015-02-15 22.36.21

 

 

Oh they understand I promise you they do. It’s a technique called gaslighting and I’m actually pretty pissed this isn’t as well known as it’s used. By acting confused and innocent (depending on how well it’s done) automatically makes you feel like there’s something wrong with you, either you’re the one not communicating properly or in most cases you’re just being paranoid because remember- you’re in a safe place.


I  loved this post and know quite a few people who can relate to this exactly, myself included. This is what goes through our heads while its happening, even though some cases take longer than others. First we immediately dismiss anything weird, then as the feelings get stronger we deny or doubt them until something really big happens and we are left to clean up the mess.

 

The best way to resolve a conflict involving  a creeper? Most likely to avoid them as soon as possible, however since I am still working on mastering this,I got some help from my friends


~~~~~~~

Reading peoples body language is huge for me and what they say and how they say it…never trust anyone you don’t know -Maria Saber

 

They can be very hard to spot and sneaky always be aware of who’s in your personal area and be aware of any con staff. If an incident occurs get cards from vendors grab witness and report immediately – Adellauria

 

I don’t believe it’s actually possible to avoid creepers, unless you don’t participate in fandom at all. That’s the rub and not something that I advocate. Whats most important is to have a strong sense of yourself and be an advocate for your own personal boundaries and safety, to get a bit hokey with it, if you see something say something.

If you don’t quite have that level of confidence yet, that’s totally okay. while that’s a goal worth working toward, in the interim, be amongst people you trust who will have your back. There of course are always going to be extremes and exceptions, but you’ll have to weigh how much it is worth to allow those fringe elements to deter you from participating in something that you love. –Mike Wong (True Geek Radio)


~~~~~~~~

 

For the creepers: I get it .For people with troubled pasts and childhoods, fandom is an awesome escape from that, however in no way shape or form is it any sort of a substitute for the treatment or help that you need to get your life straight.


Other people: You’re not a bad person for not being attracted to them. It’s your life and if you’re in a place that is attractive to others, it probably means you take care of yourself. It’s not out of the question to expect that from a potential significant other or even a friend.

You’re not a bad person for not trying to fix them either. You’re not going to save them. In fact, you trying, in most cases, gives them the ammo they need to spin it around and make you “the crazy one” (and eventually you will most likely become the crazy one for a bit…) These people arn’t looking for a savior they’re looking for someone to mess with to feel better about themselves.

 

The bottom line here is there are alot of places that label themselves as a safe place but unless you’re in most doctors,therapist office or a police station, you’re not. It is never safe to put common sense aside in the name of anything whether it’s  a relationship or fandom of any kind. The head teacher of my dojo gave me some very good advice lately, coincidentally, I was told this advice over the phone in the parking lot of a pretty big department store which led me to my own advice to myself and you.


Think of everywhere you go like it was Walmart. Would you give personal information to someone you just met waiting in line for the cashier? Would you add that person on facebook? Would you get in a car or go to that person’s house or answer questions from that person that make you feel uncomfortable? Would you be understanding if that person touched you without your ok?


The advice that I was given is what I leave you with:

If something doesn’t feel right, it’s probably because it’s not.

 

 

~Cupcakes out!

Comments:

Cuppcakes
Author: Cuppcakes View all posts by
Who’s cig burns bright in a cake made of strawberry - Drunken fights in a cake made of strawberry - a different man every night in a cake made of strawberry!! - - Jennifer Cupcake -would’t you know?

Leave A Response