Just when we thought that we were done with the terrible side of comic book movies 20th Century Fox brings us our first image of the cast of the new upcoming 2015 Fantastic Four movie. The first thing that I wonder when I see these four actors is who the hell are they?
Now maybe I’m not so schooled in the likes of Hollywood celebrities, but seriously I have never, ever heard of or seen any of these people in a movie and to me at least, they don’t look like the Fantastic Four. I know, I know, we have a ways to go, but this is my post and I can complain about this as much as I want to.
The cast for the next installment of the Fantastic Four movie franchise has been confirmed as Miles Teller(Reed Richards/Mr. Fantastic), Kate Mara(Sue Storm/Invisible Woman), Jamie Bell(Ben Grimm/The Thing) and Michael B Jordan(Johnny Storm/Human Torch). Can someone tell me who they are? I’m way too lazy to Google at the moment.
Truly though I must say the thing that I am most impressed about is that cosmic radiation has apparently turned Johnny Storm in to a black man. Just when I thought every origin in comic books was taken already the geniuses at 20th Century Fox have actually invented a new one.
So this is the way I see the plot to this movie. Sue Storm is the half sister to Johnny Storm through her mom marrying Johnnies dad, wait scratch that.. Okay let’s go with this. Sue Storm loves Reed Richards, Reed hates Sues brother Johnny because he is extremely racist, but secretly they are friends and follow the bro-code along with Ben Grimm, high school football jock, and future All Pro Wrestler.
Reed is designing a satellite for some major company, let’s say it’s owned by his friend Victor Von Doom, who also just happens to be in love with Sue Storm, but in the circle of friends also follows the bro-code so she is hands off.
Reed succeeds in building his friends satellite. He pulls together all of his best friends Sue, Ben, and Johnny. The launch in to space with his new satellite only to end up navigating through mysterious cosmic rays which surround Earth’s atmosphere. The rocket that contains the satellite runs in to problems because of the cosmic rays and gets sent plummeting back down to Earth, satellite and all passengers aflame in a huge crash on to the planet.
Everyone should technically be dead, but instead Reed reaches out from the crash not noticing he is using his newly acquires stretching ability, while Sue is in fear and crying and nobody can see her because of her new invisible powers which she has no idea that she is using.
Ben in anger breaks out of the the rubble and destruction and fire leftover from the crash only to find out that he is now a giant orange Thing with rock like skin.
After the three friends pull together Johnny stands up in the middle of the crash only to find out that he is now a young black man. Reed, Ben and Sue have no idea who the black guy is and quickly detain him with their new found super powers. He keeps telling everyone that he is Johnny Storm but nobody believes him, as he is now marked as a stowaway on the ship and blamed for the crash and the death of Johnny Storm. In the meantime Victor Von Doom is so angry and frustrated about his new satellite not making it in to space that he decides to take vengeance up Reed, Ben and Sue by grafting hot plates of metal armor to his skin. Victor actually is so upset that he can’t tell reality from fantasy and now believes himself to be a sorcerer and would be conqueror. He is left alone forever by his family in a mental institution which he has dubbed “Latveria”.
Johnny ends up going to prison and serving his time on the Raft where most of the Marvel Comics big bad guys are held. After five years he is let out for good behavior and happens to get a job at a hot dog stand that is in front of the Baxter Building, not realizing that it’s owned by Reed Richards.
After her daily jog Sue decides that she can afford the calories and have a hot dog. She realizes who the guy at the cart is and befriends him figuring he did his time for killing Johnny and crashing the rocket. She quickly let’s Reed and Ben know that the new hot dog guy is the stowaway that was on the rocket, and that he makes a mean hot dog.
Ben who has a super fast metabolism see’s an in on free hot dogs and is quick to run down to the cart and see what he can get. Suddenly the Baxter Building is attacked by a guy who can barely move his body because he is clunking around in a makeshift metal armor suit which is literally seared on to his flesh, but apparently he is somehow very good in battle anyway.
He announces himself as Dr.Doom and takes on Ben, Reed and Sue. After much mayhem and destruction the three realize that they are no match for this villain who is only known as Dr.Doom, and then suddenly notice that Johnny has jumped in to the battle to help them with his new powers of being a nubile black man.
Johnny thwarts off Dr.Doom and saves Ben, Sue and Reed. Over time Sue and Johnny fall in love, and Sue kicks Reed out of her life, literally friend zoning him forever. The four still stay together and become the Fantastic Four, although Reed is continuously in a deep depression over Sue, that she has absolutely no time for because her and Johnny are so in love.
After many battles with Dr.Doom Johnny realizes that their is only one way to get rid of Dr.Doom, and it’s through dance! The Fantastic Four decide to form a dance crew and ask Dr.Doom to “Step Up”. An epic battle infers between the F4 Dance Crew and Dr.Doom, the four finally beat him and he runs off in shame because he got served by a depressed stretchy guy, a cute blond who never even bothered to show up, a big orange rock lummox who loves eating hot dogs and some random black man.
In the end, Johnny and Sue get married, open a barber shop and live happily ever after while Reed and Ben sit around, eat hot dogs and talk about the old days and Dr.Doom plots his revenge..
I think that this is an outstanding plot for the 2015 Fantastic Four movie. In my opinion it would be much better than what we have seen so far. Let’s look at what Hollywood has given us so far:
Roger Corman’s 1994 Fantastic Four(this was the closest to actually seeing the F4 in a movie)
Then in 2005 Hollywood gave us this..
Then in 2007 Hollywood laughed in our faces again with this one, thankfully the Silver Surfer sort of saved this film.
..And now Hollywood brings us this…
Well I say that my plot idea is perfect, a lot better than what we have see previously. What do you think? Feel free to use the comment section, that’s why it’s there.