Attack on Titan – (Episode 4)

9 Overall Score
Jaeger Bombs: 1/10
Quick Thinking: 9/10
Teen Angst: 9/10

Finally Some Fighting!!

That Titan totally ruined lunchtime

We start with a roll call of all our friends as each one is named, their strength and weakness are talked about. Kudos to Granpa for not using the lines Sausha Blouse….what the hell is she doing here, as it cuts to the scene with her hopping up and down on her bungee cords

Later Eren and his new buddy Reiner are practicing Martial arts until they spot Annie who Eren seems to have found his kindred spirit in. They both like to ditch doing any work and after kicking Eren and Reiners  asses during practice find that both think that martial arts is stupid and she convinces Eren that pretty much everything is stupid and everyone is working really hard so they can get into the Military Police do nothing.So apparently the character names aren’t the only concepts they took from America! I’m feeling right at home here guys.

Back at dinner everyone seems to be on the same page with the whole Military Police thing and Marco gushes about giving his body to the king serving as a noble knight.Then Wit Studios saves a bunch of money on animation by reusing the same cells for another Eren/Jean disagreement.Only this one DOES in fact end in a Jaeger Bomb…but not Erens. See- Jeans got the total hots for Mikasa and Eren totally broke bro code by Mikasa touching him…or something

Eren then explains everything what we’re thinking (except me who’s still trying to learn bro code)While he reflects on the person that he used to be. He then uses a trick his new bff Annie taught him to take down Jean before also jacking Annie’s speech from earlier that day.
Around this time Grandpa barges in and wants to know what all the commotion is and Mikasa explains that Sasha farted.This makes sense to Grandpa and he leaves without question. The rest of the night is spent with Eren and Jean giving each other angry looks and Mikasa randomly shoving bread in peoples mouth


—-Spoiler Warning—-

It’s Graduation time!! Everyone gathers for an explanation of classes and to see who won “who wants to kill all titans/do nothing all day/sleep with the king.” The classes are as follows (In my own words of course- you can wiki the correct terms if it really means that much to you)


Garrison – Food protectors – its the seal with the pretty flowers

Power Rangers– The going outside the wall club – It’s the seal with the feathers

Military Police– The Harem – It’s seal is a unicorn (This makes sense because the guy who invented it was most likely high on drugs instead of doing any work . I imagine it went something like: Dude we need a seal….OH HEY IT’S A EFFING UNICORN OVER THERE DUDE what the hell were we doing again? Someone call the Garrison-we need munchies)


The Winners

10 – Krista– The Bread God

9- Sahsa– Potato girl

8-Connie- Dude with a girls name

7-Marco– The kings new concubine

6-Jean– The New Eren

5-Eren- Jaeger Bomb

4-Annie– Regina George

3-Bertholdt– Totally saw a Titan club member

2-Reiner– Ditto

1- Mikasa


Later Eren turns down the Harem to be a Power Ranger and everyone’s all WTF? Why doesn’t he want to be a cool kid like everyone else?Then one dude goes into a rant about it.*Insert Eren Kill all Titans speech here*

The next morning everyone gathers for the arrival of the original power rangers from episode one but this time everyone is happy to see them and Eren doesn’t have to kick the crap out of anyone. Keeping with the mean girls theme I made for myself , I totally rewind this scene and re-played it with Missy Elliot’s Pass That Dutch in the background..(One time Levi punched me in the face it was awesome) Blondie seems to be among them and guess what? HE’S SOBER O-M-G!!! ….and he got some kinda promotion…
It all winds down to what seems like a happy ending full of warm and fuzzy life lessons and Sahsa’s stolen meat  until -SURPRISE- it’s a Titan. He just like magically appears out of nowhere and now Eren finally has his chance to kill all Titans!!

Author: Cuppcakes View all posts by
Who’s cig burns bright in a cake made of strawberry - Drunken fights in a cake made of strawberry - a different man every night in a cake made of strawberry!! - - Jennifer Cupcake -would’t you know?

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