Attack on Titan – (Episode 5)

9 Overall Score
Surprise Ending: 8/10
Cute Cookies: 10/10
Death: 10/10

The Jaeger Bomb Returns!! (Why am I happy about this?)

Samara is not haunting the nightmares of my friend's neighbors

 Before we begin I’d like to inform you about how last night, I totally missed out on scaring some little kids for life by dressing as Samara from The Ring and hanging out by an old creepy well in a scary forest you have to drive through to get to a friends housing complex, so I could write the first half of this…It’s ok I just rescheduled for December 25th Merry Christmas bias!!!

So when we last left Eren and Co everyone was kinda just sitting around staring at a giant Titan that just materialised out of thin air. Eren gets it together pretty quick, equips his crazy eyes and gets ready to kill some Titans! Surprisingly he actually almost does too, until it magically disappears again.Before Eren is the center of everyone’s attention, some soldiers show up to send everyone to HQ for orders seeing as there’s now that little problem with the giant hole in the wall and more Titans coming you know… Welcome to work guys!
Back at the base Armin is spazzing out about the wall, but it’s cool because Erens trademark kill all Titans speech has magic healing powers and Armin carries on his business of….whatever it was that he was doing that involved knocking two wrenches together…
Cut to the inner wall where His Majesty is chillin’ with his favorite harem soldier: Pixis. They’re playing chess and eating cookies and SURPISE he’s from the Garrison. They’re interrupted by some messengers with news of the oncoming attack (Do these guys ever bring any good news?) Upon hearing this, Pixis jacks the good booze and heads off to battle much to His Majestys dismay, and what follows is a lovers quarrel reminiscent of one of the last scenes of Cowboy Bebop


Pixis – I’m not going to die…I’m going to find out if I was ever really alive…

King: NOOO *Cries*


Messenger 1: FYI – He totally let you win those chess games….


I told you!! Never good news… Don’t worry Your Majesty, Marco will be there to comfort you soon enough.  Back at HQ Eren runs into Jean who is totally po’d at him for making the Titans appear and killing everyone.Eren Jaeger Bombs yet another kill all Titans speech and at this point I’m abbreviating it to EKATS. It’s kinda like the Thundercats…If Lion-O was screaming at everyone all time.Seriously how does he still have a voice at this point?  Either way he handles his business so Mikasa can save her ass-kicking for the Titans.

This is when we find out Mikasa is sent to the Rearguard instead of the Noob Squad and this is not cool with her. I’m pretty sure you can guess what happens next…He didn’t even get like 5 minutes of downtime people…She caves but before she does expresses her genuine concern for Eren and his safety again. This seems to anger our favorite psycho and I can completely see where he’s coming from, I mean the hottest strongest,cooliest girl in the quite possibly the entire military throwing herself at you? How annoying right? Get a life Mikasa it’s totally gross…

~~~~The spoliers start here guys~~~

While they’re getting ready for battle Eren has a skitzo flashback of his Titan classes and we too, learn that Titans are nearly invincible with the exception of a small spot on the back of their neck. With this everyone is ready to make some super cool battle scenes for the show opening credits including Thomas a minor character who’s been getting quite a bit more airtime lately…this is not foreshadowing of any shortcomings on his behalf at all…

The Titans come and they’re psyched, I’m psyched, everybody’s psyched…until Thomas dies…surprise… Of course Eren Jaeger Bombs all over the place but this is not like the OP at all, and amiss the lost blood, limbs and lives Armin is almost eaten but is saved by Eren who gets eaten in his place…
So lets see what we have here. Main character,in the 5th episode of a 25 episode season……Something tells me a startling revelation is going to save our hero and the day here….
Cupcakes Out!

Author: Cuppcakes View all posts by
Who’s cig burns bright in a cake made of strawberry - Drunken fights in a cake made of strawberry - a different man every night in a cake made of strawberry!! - - Jennifer Cupcake -would’t you know?

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