God Hates Astronauts #2

9 Overall Score
Art: 8/10
Story: 9/10
Humor: 10/10

This comic is off the charts on the ridiculousness spectrum. | The pure unpredictability inherent in a story like this makes turning every page a true discovery. | Despite taking his subject matter as lightly as humanly possible in terms of gravity, Ryan Browne has taken great care to keep the level of detail and overall effort on the book impressively high.

Just five issues? Is that what it said after the intro? It almost seems unfair for it to be that short.

God Hates Astronauts #2
Ryan Browne, Jordan Boyd, Chris Crank
Image Comics
2014

(Read my review of issue 1 HERE and my review of the series’ entire first volume HERE.)

This is how great God Hates Astronauts is: I open the review .pdf, marvel at the gorgeously intricate and, upon closer inspection, ridiculously absurd cover (a golf club-wielding owl-faced cosmonaut—who we later find out is Buzz Owldrin—and his equally-garbed seal companion—Seal Armstrong—trying to hold onto their bottle of “Astro Hooch” amid a flood of floating crabs), and by the first page I’m giggling to myself like an imbecile. There he is, our assigned narrator, 3-D Cowboy (basically a whale-shaped blob with a tiny Stetson on his head who speaks in what I think is a New York accent but I’m not completely sure), telling us what could easily have been conveyed in a brief caption: that this issue starts off in NASA headquarters in the late 1970s.

After a brief introduction in which Dr. Professor (the Power Person Five’s resident rhinoceros scientist) get a tour of the NASA facilities and shows some crab-golfing on the moon courtesy of the aforementioned spacemen, we return to the present (or, more specifically, present-day Shitsville). Last issue saw very little of the team with which we’d become so acquainted in the series’ first volume, so it’s rather nice to see Craymok (“a weird mutant with laser eyes”) and Dave (formerly the Anti-Mugger, who really hated muggers but now prefers to just get drunk) still around.

However, they’re estranged from their team leader, Star Grass (formerly Star Fighter before he… erm… got his head beaten, had it blow up like a grotesque balloon, exploded and then… uh… replaced by a ghost cow head—it’s a long story, really), and it doesn’t seem like they’re approving of his methods in keeping the farmer astronauts within the Earth’s stratosphere. Star Grass, his formerly cheatin’ wife, Starrior, and his toddling daughter, Starlina are trying to make a life while still running their team—or at least the best life a weirdo superhero team can have when superpowers like theirs, wielded incompetently and inconsiderately go unchecked and unbalanced.

But hey, it makes for some rather hilarious situations.

We also get reacquainted with Gnarled Winslow (whose original bear arms—that’s right, he had “the right to bear arms”—have been replaced by cybernetic ones), Texas Tom (the otherwise well-intentioned mutant cowboy who turned Star Fighter into a cuckold and introduced him to Blue Grass, his future head) and, in a vignette at the end of the book, The Impossible (upside-down face, capable of doing impossible things… you know, the usual).

There’s also a pretty gorgeous insert by artist Tom Moody of what looks like Santa Claus gunning down astronauts with Uzi 9mms while birds with space helmets fly in pattern behind him, because why the fuck not?

God, I’m so glad this series is back.

gha-insert GHA#2

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Jesse Scheckner
Author: Jesse Scheckner View all posts by
A freelance writer who regularly produces work for MMA Owl, Tuff Gnarl, Broward Palm Beach New Times, Florida Geek Scene and Miami's Community Newspapers. Moderately relevant. Follow me on Twitter @JesseScheckner.

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