Itty Bitty Hellboy #1

2.33 Overall Score
Art: 3/10
Dialogue: 2/10
Story: 2/10

Destroys anything that you ever liked about the Hellboy series.

Itty Bitty Hellboy #1
Art Baltazar & Franco
Dark Horse Comics
2013

Welcome again, dear friends, to another “Both Barrels Comic Book Review.” I’ve read many great comics in my time; books that are truly on par with some of the greatest literature of our age, and I have to say that Itty Bitty Hellboy #1 is absolutely NOT one of them. This hunk of festering garbage isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on, and it would be better used a kindling for the fire you intend to use to burn your memories of better days than for actually staring at.

Quick background; someone at Dark Horse had a massive stroke, but instead of dying, they hung around long enough to greenlight this melodious piece of uninspired horseshit. The book is a Saturday morning cartoon version story of the characters in the Hellboy universe. Think Muppet Babies or Tiny Toons, except without the humor, or originality. The book features a few different “stories,” that are all pretty much the same story, about the characters being kids, and pitting “good” and “evil” against each other over things like who has the better fort made out of a cardboard box.

I get the idea; it’s fun and whimsical to put these established characters in a childish atmosphere. Except the execution is awful. Usually when this is done, it’s to highlight the difference in how children see the world from how adults view it. Using characters we already know, we can point to it and be like “I get that.” NONE of that happens in this book.

Co-written (yeah, it took two people) by Art Baltazar and Franco Aureliani, best known for the Eisner Award winning Tiny Titans, which also sucked, this adolescent joyride is an absolute waste of time. With pen by Baltazar, the “cartoony” look isn’t even enjoyable. Going for a crayon-on-paper look, it’s achieved with gusto, making less artsy, and more like something a 6th grader doodled with his friends during homeroom.
The worst part of this whole fiasco?

There are 5 books in the run. And to deflate my love of the Hellboy series even more, creator Mike Mignola actually (supposedly) signed off on it. I’m sick of this “do it because it’s ironic” bullshit that has permeated the art world to appeal to hipsters who wouldn’t know what’s “cool,” or “artsy,” or “definitive of a serious subculture,” if it kicked them right in their homemade lederhosen. Personally, I blame Alanis Morissette for the “I don’t know what ironic means, but I’ll use it anyway cause it sounds cool” movement. Screw all of it, and screw you, Dark Horse, because, seriously, fuck.

Needless to say, don’t buy it, and just for fun, twitter-bomb everyone involved with this demanding better product. They should pay me more for having to read this crap than they paid the doodlers who wrote it.

 

ibh1

Comments:

Mark Viola
Author: Mark Viola View all posts by
Mark Viola is a writer, stand-up comedian, and humorist, as well as a geek who was so busy analyzing the differences between Deadpool and Deathstroke, he didn't get any in high school. You can follow his silly exploits on his facebook page, www.facebook.com/MarkViolaComedy, or harass him with boisterous, mind-numbingly silly e-mails at MarkViolaComedy@gmail.com and Twitter @MarkViolaComedy.

Leave A Response