Servants of the Mist – Gross Knowledge of Genital Mutilation

4.5 Overall Score
Originality: 2/10
Songs: 4/10
Band: 7/10

Wonderful music for getting wasted and picking fights.

Everything else.

Servants of the Mist
Gross Knowledge of Genital Mutilation
2015

Servants of the Mist is a doom metal band out of the Tampa, Florida area. I am not sure what type of mist they serve. An early morning fog? The city of Seattle? Swamp gas? Who knows? I don’t, so don’t ask me. But you have heard this music before. I have heard it before. Just about anyone you know has heard it before. I do not mean that you have heard the album – I mean that you have heard this music. Loud banging and scratching, shouting, Satan voice – it is all there. This easily could have come out twenty years ago, and would have been a revelation then, but you know what they say about being a day late and a dollar short.

You probably never knew that this band existed until your read this review. Big deal. That is what reviews are for. And with that much said they certainly are quite gloomy. If you enjoy depression then this is the perfect music for you. Me? I prefer to be happy, but to each his own. When I saw the album, and that it had a song called Commit Suicide on it, well I just had to hear that one first. As it turned out it ended up being the best track on the album for me. The vocalist tones down the wannabe Satan voice on this track, and he sounds just like Lemmy with a sore throat. The song itself has a sort of structured riffing that I like. I listened to this song several times just for pleasure, and I will surely listen to it again. It is a good song. If all of the songs on the album were as good as Commit Suicide I would rate the band much higher. But that was not to be.

Now, I have to give these guys an A for effort. Undeserving is the name of an eleven minute and thirty seven second experiment in noise and feedback. Now, I LOVE experimentation as well as feedback, but most of this was not the type of feedback that I like and the experiment did not really work.  After a while of listening I was getting burned out on it, although I did listen to the whole eleven minute and thirty seven second song. Twice.

The title track, Gross Knowledge of Genital Mutilation, is not nearly as good as I thought it would be. Usually an album’s self-titled song is one of its best, and I am sure that the band and their fans think that, but I do not. To me it sounded like a band playing on the second floor of a building that suddenly caves in while they are playing and they play the whole time. This is collapsing building music. I just created a new genre! And Servants of the Mist are number one in collapsing building music.

I really do not have much else to say about this. If you dig loud, noisy music that seems to go nowhere while a Satan wannabe yells at you then by all means rush out and grab a copy.

 

sotm
 

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Jeff Strichart
Author: Jeff Strichart View all posts by
Jeff Strichart has been a frustrated musician for almost forty years. He is also a producer and has mixed and/or mastered many local Colorado bands. Aside from his music and production he enjoys his dogs, motorcycles, collecting vintage BMX bicycles, reading and his new found love of sound design using hardware synthesizers and has licensed material to the BBC for use in their television programs.

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